ever blazing

this is me being soppy nostalgic and everything in between. my exams are in 2 weeks time..and out of all days today i feel ungrounded.. looking through certain pictures may deemed unwise but i just cannot help myself..i would never get over it i know..even if i have sort of moved on..i know i would always go back to that dark place in my head and that would just simply means i am stuck..but in all..i am happy..even if trust would always be an issue with me..i am happy as i am accepted as what i am..thanks hun..but as for now i can't say i love you..not just yet..i just don't have enough trust in me..but yes there is no doubt that u make me happy..

running away from that..i would just want to say that we have sent in the final report for the EWB project..awesoommmmmeee..

gilmore girls depresses me..

big time..

it has been ages..like a year?nothing important just needed to vent..just a heads up..i hate writing reports especially if they are meant to be concise and would sum up to 1500 words..simply cannot wait for the assignment that would require me to write a concise 20000 word report..[20000 word report is not concise for heaven's sake]psshh..and another heads up..i hate calling someone just to check in and just to be questioned why are u calling..and dont waste time..ish..never gonna check in again..like ever..this is me hating the world we live in and the people that live in them..okay not all of them..that would exclude u..coz i know people that i dont like wouldnt be reading this anyway..so flip u..one thing i wanna say..u r utterly ridiculous..ridiculous..this is me throwing things off my head...i have done a lot of insane illogical irrational actions in the entire course of my life..and i can assure u that that is not going to stop anytime soon..and i hate that..i know what would be the better option but in the end i would just give in and do it anyway...goddamnit this is bad..i screwed up..big time..always have always will...and i need a job so that i can buy more clothes..and food..and food..i need more food..i am hating this..

big time..

should stop screwing up..

should stop..

:|

anthem part 2 [blink 182]

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
no air [jordin sparks and chris brown]

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
paint it black [vanessa carlton]

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
nine in the afternoon [panic at the disco]

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
hero heroine [boys like girls]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
i don't need a man [pussy cat dolls]

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
strangeland [greenday]

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
let me blow your mind [eve feat gwen stefani]

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
takeoffs and landings [the ataris]

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN
starstruck [lady gaga]

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
don't hesitate to hate [cute is what we aim for]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIENDs?
if i ain't got you [alicia keys]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
down [blink 182]

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
shadow [ashlee simpson]

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
semi constructive criticism [circa survive]

WHAT WILL/DID YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
ooh baby ooh baby [britney spears]

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
rough landing, holly [yellowcard]

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
there's a good reason these tables are numbered honey, you just haven't thought of it yet [panic at the disco]

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
start now [rancid]

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
tired of waiting [greenday]

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
unopened letter to the world [the ataris]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
don't leave me [blink 182]

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
have you ever [brandy]

DOES ANYONE LIKE U?
feel it boy [beenie man feat janet jackson]

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
bruise easily [natasha bedingfield]

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
anthem part 2 [blink 182]

phantom..revisited..

i went to the theatre last saturday..phantom of the opera..am just too tired from physics to elaborate in explicit detail..but in a shell..it was breath taking..really..

wat else..got a free ride on the bus today..as the beepbeep thingy simply refuses to read the card..yeay..

am waiting still for that bank statement from westpac so i can get my new phone asap..

am waiting for that particular model of the camera to make its way here so i can get my hands on one..

got a calculus test this wednesday..

and a bunch of online assignments..physics maths and EnE..hmmm..

i shud sleep now..to make up for the 3 hours only sleep i had last night..

the storybook dream..

i have had this dream for quite sometime now..and i like it as it does continue from where it left of from the last slumber..it would start with this little girl, presumably 5-6 years old, with short hair in a fire truck..she followed the fireman who noticed that she was sitting by the curb all exhausted..the fireman asked what was wrong and where are her parents..she never did answer..so the fireman thought she was deaf and dumb..then on the way to somewhere [most probably social services]the fireman got radioed and had to respond to a fire..the girl was with him in the truck..arriving at the scene..the fireman got out of the truck leaving the girl alone in the truck..by the time the fire was put out, the girl was gone.

****************
then it showed the girl running past a junction..she was a runner..thats why the fireman found her exhausted by the roadside..she was running..past the junction and headed for the beach..she would always have set a destination to where where she would run to..and if she can't run anymore than her mind with take a life of its own and will take her there..when she runs she notices everything..so she reached the beach but the beach was violent today..reaching her oh-so-destination she decided to turn back..she ran across the road..it was a 2 way road..there was another man who was running as well..a man in his 30s..he listens to music while he runs..she could tell by the man's plugged ears and bopping of the head..she remembered she didn't like this day..traffic was building up..she kept running and looking back at the same time..the man that was behind her decided to run at the violent beach..the girl was busy running and looking out for cars..there was some kind of weed that has overgrown and was covering half of the road..the man crossed the road as he reached the overgrown weed to get to the other side of the road and got distracted by something..this moment of distraction led to what made the girl disliked this day..he was hit by a white car..the girl saw this.. cringed.. but kept on running.. she passed the overgrown weed just to find out what was distracting the now dead man in his 30s.. there was a stream.. and there was some kind of ornament..it was beautiful.. it was a pair of ducks[or was it one]it had a paddle..which deemed funny to the girl..it was beautiful none the less.. its painting was so meticulous she could see every detail..she didn't like this day..if only the man ran across before reaching the overgrown weed..if only it wasn't noticed that there was a small stream..if only it wasn't noticed the duck ornament..if only it wasn't noticed the paddle the duck had in one wing..then the man would then have continued running..

then i woke up..it maybe written poorly by me..i lack in portraying and describing..if only you are able to see what i see in this dream..it is beautiful..everything is painted..everything is just so detailed..too bad...

bloodYell..

just wanted to say that it is predicted to be 37 degrees tomorrow..today was 34 and i was already muttering under my breath... my personal forecast.. there is gonna be a lot of cursing due to heat tomorrow..hmm..am thinking of dropping by the mall after class tomorrow too..wanna get something from that 25% off everything sale..

satin indulgence..

today has been anything but ordinary..it started with me waking up at 0730 had breakfast and showered..then went to innaloo mall to get the groceries..but only after getting myself that pretty bag from roxy..it was pretty it was calling out and it was a necessity..then groceries shopping took place..all that was bought are basic needs like vegetables and fruits and chicken[have i not told you that chicken is the cheapest form of protein here..and even that it is bloody expensive...everything added up to 60 dollars..20 dollars than the supposed budget.. then got back home..did my online assignment in the evening..then nightfall had to come..[why]

1.nana told me that a particular old friend got married today..to the frontman of a local indie band..damn..she was just sooo different..
2.from one wedding to another..ILT told me that he got into an accident..was on his way to a wedding and he hit the vehicle in front of him with the his land cruiser..smart move ILT..very smart..guess by this i wouldn't be getting my 1k from you this month eh..hmmm..y laa..meaning money has to be paid for the repairs of land cruiser and repairs of the unfortunate vehicle..to spice it up a bit..the vehicle hit belonged to a family member of the groom..really smart move ILT..

reasons for the post title..i bought this really pretty satiny sleepwear..had a price tag of 40 dollars..but it was sooo pretty just had to get my hands on it..and apart from that i have bought myself a pair of boots for 90 dollars..hmm what else..a couple of tops and bottoms in total would add up less than 200 dollars[am pretty sure of this one]..hmm the passport holder splurge from fossil for 40 ish dollars..hmm..that pair of slippers from giselle bundchen and a couple bunch of other things..tingtingtangtang..i need to save up even more now since im not gonna get my 1k this month..damn..

will be posting again..once the mood sets in..or when i see that 1k in the account..owh did i mention..my atm card literally got swallowed by the machine..ditzy me kept entering a 6 digit pin [malaysia kan 6] all the while it shud ave been 4..so yea it'll take a week to get a new one..dang..


my march aint starting with a bang..more like it is a BANG!